How do I deal with my mom death at 20?

Hi my mom ped away a few weeks ago from a heart attack.I was holding her up when it happend.(she was uconcious)When the emts came out & told us they did e/t they could we were shocked & we still are.We called my married sister to come over when they were working on here.They asked me & my sister which one us was going to tell her.Ofcourse neither of us would.When she arrived she had no idea.The emt stopped her & her husband in their tracks when they were coming up the stairs.We left to my aunt & uncles house that nite (we had to drag my dad out of our house bec we knew if he stayed it would be worse) bec the next day they would be taking her body out(my brother in law stayed at the house to make sure they would take her out in a respectfull way)We all slept in one room there & we just cried the whole night.Wat drives me nuts also is the fact that my aunt hated my mom so much.She was always jealous that my mom & her brother aka my aunts husband had such a close relationship.She ofcourse tried to tear them apart & 2 yrs ago she was getting what she wanted.My dad & uncle used to work together & my aunt convinced him to open another store problem is my uncles store would be selling the same thing my dad would be selling & get this his store was one block away.My aunt & uncle hurt my mom so bad.My mom & uncle started fighting all the time bec of his buissness & my dads being so close.My mom always said to my uncle why a block away did you have to open the same kind of store as us.It was really hurting my mom(my aunt was getting her wish bec they werent getting along like they used to)truthfully I dont know why my aunt hated my mom so much.My mom was so good to e/o.My mom tried so hard to be close w/ my aunt but all my mom got was a stab in the back.Ever since my aunt came into this family she hated my mom(which was way before I was born)Its so hard for me not to blame her & be angry at her for my moms death bec she was always wishing the worst on my mom.By my moms funeral she didnt even try to hug me she didnt go near me. Im sure its killing my unclee after being so close with my mom since they were kids he must feel bad for fighting w/ her for 2 yrs.I was so close with my mom.Every day I spent with her.She ped away 4 days before my b-day.A few days before she ped way she was discussing w/ me what I would want to do on my birthday.She kepy saying I cant believe my baby is turning 20(im the youngest in my family)Ofcouse I said im not a baby.So she said your not a baby but your my baby.Its just so hard to believe.She was so young & such a good wife & mother.Its like I believe it.Then I dont believe it.Im numb then im not numb.I have clos fam & friends to talk to.But ofcourse we are all dealing w/ it differently(ps :I would